I am writing this while watching the Biggest Loser and a thought keeps coming in my head. 'What makes us say enough is enough?' What really makes us say that we are tried of 'being over weight', 'not liking what we see in the mirror', 'wanting to smile more', 'stop drinking soda' or 'to run instead of walk'? And more importantly how do we take that moment we say 'ENOUGH' and have that carry over when we hit that wall.
This is something that, if I want to be truthful, I have been thinking about a whole lot longer then just tonight's Biggest Loser. So I want to show, and remind, why I am doing this change to my lifestyle. So here is what I came up with!
I have had these thoughts for YEARS. I knew that there needed to be a change in my life. I knew I was headed to a heart attack, diabetes, or even an early death! I mean lets go ahead and be really really frank here. My weight got all the way up to 220! Yes that is right 220 pounds on a 5'0 frame!
But you know what hurt the most wasn't the fear of an early death or anything health related, it was the fact that I couldn't go clothes shopping. Yup, it was the clothes. The fact that the outfits I wanted wasn't possible or even if it did look 'ok' it didn't look like how I wanted it to look. We all know that feeling. The bigger, the more that feeling bugs you.
My 'Enough is Enough' moment happened much like Denzel Washington in Flight. Except that I have never flown an airplane or drank that much in my life. I just couldn't 'tell another lie, I reached my limit of lies'. My lies where all about my weight. I reached my limit of being this heavy, I reached my limit of living a life of cookies, and cakes and anything else sweet.
So I looked at myself in the Mirror and I knew it was time to take the future in my own hands. I did what I have been dreaming of for years, 'Starting this Blog' and getting my 'Before Pictures Taken'. To this day I am STILL not sure which one was scarier!
I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I was fighting against around 15 years of bad food habits, little to no exercising and no concept of willpower. It was, and is, an up hill battle that I don't win all the time. I still go through really horrible days where I do some emotional eating. There is also times where I want to hide all the bad things, like a weight gain, from all my readers.
These walls have hit me hard. There has been days that I just wanted to give up. Why do I deserve to be happy? Why does undoing years of bad decisions have to be so hard? Why does running have to mean going faster then walking? Oh I didn't lose that much weight, I should just give up!
All of these thoughts and more have all been in my head for years. Although the running is a really new one it does come in just as often now. It all really boiled down to 'Why do I deserve to be happy?'. And I will be completely honest with you I still don't have that answer completely answered.
What I have come up with is that if I don't give my chance to be happy, no one else will give it to me. I have the right to be happy. But a half a lifetime wont be undone in a day, so it will take a more then a day to change it.
So breaking through that Wall isn't easy. Especially when most of the battle isn't physical it is mental. Which, going back to the Biggest Loser, is what you see in all of the episodes. Mental Breakthroughs followed by weight loss. I am doing my breakthroughs with just putting one foot in front of the other. Also thinking about what I have been able to accomplish just in this year alone!
My first 5k was on 1/1/13 - The Commitment Day 5k. Which was amazing in itself because I did it! I always wanted to do a 5k but never thought I could do it. Well this PROVED I could do it!
Then, as if it wasn't enough that I did a 5k, I did another one! The Color Run 5k on 2/2/13. And on this one I beat my original PR by 10 minutes! It was so shocking and amazing and awesome!
Plus there is this amazing blog. It has made me workout when I really didn't want to at all. Which just really shows that 'When you do something you love, you don't work a day in your life'. Now I just need to find a job ^_^.
I do not have all the answers! In fact I still have around 50 more pounds to loose to be in my heights health range. There is still a lot that I am figuring out but I do want to show what I have learned so far. Because I need the reminder as to why this is so important. If any of this helps you, in at least knowing you are not alone, then I am so damn happy I could help!
So NeverEver's, Never let it be said that a TV show doesn't make you do some deep thinking ^_~.